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|Friday, October 26th, 2007|
|Saturday, December 30th, 2006|
man I was dumb during college
|Sunday, December 4th, 2005|
as per Andrews's request
1. Windir-Todeswalzer (RIP) : ( Lead singer died in a blizzard recently.
2. Twilight-White Fire Under Black Text
3. Lurker of Chalice- Piercing Where They Might
4. Eikenskaden- Funeral March
5. Taake- Part I
6. Ulver- Capitel V - Bergtatt - Ind I FjeldkamreneNight -awesome mix of folk and black metal ulver.
7.Forest (Russia) - As A Song In The Harvest Of Grief
I saw Fear Factory and Strapping Young Lad in concert recently. Strapping Young Lad was awesome I think you would enjoy their humor Andrew. The mosh pit was crazy too. I got my shirt ripped in half : (
|Wednesday, December 1st, 2004|
|Back from break
Well break went pretty well. Food was awesome and it was nice to see michael and tim and my cousins. I saw the movie Sideways with Michael and my Dad. It was a really good movie, highly reccommended : ) I got a 250 gig hard drive from circuit city for only $79 after rebates which is awesome. I'm so glad to actually have some space on my computer. Julian also actually bought me a 512 mb stick of RAM because he owed me money so now I have 768 mb in my computer, which I'm happy about. Half-Life 2 runs alot better now and loads faster which is good. I've been so addicted to Counter-Strike lately though that I havn't even made it that far in the game.
I really needed to do schoolwork today but as of now I havn't done anything. I'm such a procrastinator : ( This evening was nice though. I hung out with Nicole and her roommate courtney. Courtney is so funny. She says some of the craziest shit sometimes. Me and Nicole watched the first dvd of Serial Experiments Lain, which was cool. I had forgotten how awesome that series was. I can't wait to watch the rest of it : ) I really like anything with a cyberpunk theme lately it seems. I need to finish reading Count Zero (the sequel to Neuromancer). It's really good so far. I've also been watching Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. It's an amazing series. The animation is great and the story is intelligent and well done so far.
I'm really looking forward to christmas break. I'm going to hang out with Nic for the beginning of it which should be a blast : ) I can not wait to see Sky though. I miss her so so much. As of now were thinking about living in San Fransisco next year. I have no idea what I am going to be doing but I'm still excited about the possibility. It's gonna be pretty crazy though. Were going to be living with her friends so it's going to be me and 6 girls in a house or apartment :/ I'm sure it'll be fine though. It'll just be soo nice to actually be with Sky and not have to be in a ldr for once. ahh I love her so much : )
Anyways time for hw maybe..or videogames : )"It took the Dutchman and his team three months to put Turner together again. They cloned a square meter of skin for him, grew it on slabs of collagen and shark-cartilage polysaccharides. They bought eyes and genitals on the open market. The eyes were green"
Current Mood: tired
|Thursday, November 18th, 2004|
Just got done playing some Counter-Strike: Source with tyler. We had some great games and did a lot better then we usually even do. Fun times : ) Andrew is actually thinking about selling his xbox for a new videocard so he can play with us. We just gotta play coop and beat Halo 2 on Legendary before hand.
It seems like I've actually been pretty busy lately and had a lot of fun things to do, which has been nice. This weekend should be fun too : )This semester is definitely going a lot better than fall semesters have in the past. I think having Sky to talk to every day has helped a lot and I've been having a lot good times with everyone here. Me, Nicole, and Quinn are going to the Le Tigre show now too on Dec. 7 at Cats Cradle which should be good : ) Blah im gonna miss everyone so much after this year is over : (
Anyways, time to get some sleep. Stand aside for the new world order
Don't deceive yourself get out of the way
We command and you obey
Beautiful to be the Joker
Cursed by an all-to human future
Things you cannot defeat you start to believe in
New generations - Synthetic nations
I am your loving hate... This is the new world
This world is a will to power
This world is a will to power Current Mood: sleepy
|Wednesday, November 17th, 2004|
AHHHHHHH Half-Life 2 is soo good. I didn't think it would be able to live up to the hype but so far it has. I stayed up until the game was released at 3am last night and played it till 6..which kinda sucked cause I had to get up at 7. Oh well I'm still not even that tired even though its been a long day. Anyways I probably should get to bed. Current Mood: excited
|Monday, November 15th, 2004|
Wow I havn't updated this in months. This weekend was really good though and deserving of an update. I went to Jon's birthday party on friday which was actually really fun. I drank enough to actually dance which I usually never do and met some cool people. Car bombs are sooo good!!
Saturday night was fun and interesting as well. I went to the drag show with Nicole and Drew. I got to see Quinn and some other people too. Nicole made me try and dance with her which was embarrassing but not too bad I guess. Overall a fun night : )
Last night was the Cradle of Filth show though!!!! Ah it was really good. The first two bands, Himsa and Bleeding Through, were pretty lame though and their fans sucked. They were a bunch of hardcore kids who did their stupid hardcore dancing. So annoying. It was kind of fun to try and knock the shit out of them though while they were trying to dance.
Arch Enemy came on next though and they were so awesome. The sound was really great and they played really well. Very impressive. The moshing was also really good during most of their show too. It was soo fun to just jump in and start hitting people when the strobes started going off. I couldn't see anything and was just getting pushed everywhere. Really cool feeling : ) Highlight of their set though was when they played We Will Rise \,,/
Cradle then came on and played an awesome setlist. The sound was really good, although they did screw up Nymphetamine because Sara was singing it and was waay off key. Dani was also a bit of a drama queen and acted a little belligerent and whiny. The crowd was really pumped at first but then settled down and was a pretty lame crowd overall so maybe that was why. There was very little moshing at first which I was happy about because Cradle is more of a theatrical band and not really suited for moshing. Of course some dumbass started throwing his friend around into the crowd and us, which really pissed me off. I kept trying to throw him into the back railing but it didn't work so well so I just grabbed him and threw him on the floor. Very satisfying : )
I think this was the set list though. The order might be a little wrong and I think I'm missing a song. (Edit: Thanks to Nicole and Andrew for reminding me which ones)
The Principle of Evil made Flesh
Tortured Soul Asylum
The Forest Whispers My Name
Her Ghost in the Fog
A Bruise upon the Silent Moon
The Promise of Fever
Cruelty Brought Thee Orchids
From the Cradle to Enslave
Anyways I have to go to the library and write some papers. Half-life 2 comes out tomorrow. I can't wait. Vampire Bloodlines also comes out tomorrow. I'll have to wait till Christmas or something to play it though.
This is the end of everything
Hear the growing chora that a new dawn shall bring
Danse macabre 'neath the tilt of the zodiac
Now brighter stars shall reflect on our fate
What sick nativities will be freed when those lights burn black?
I see the serpentine in your eyes
The nature of the beast as revelations arrive
from the cradle to enslave....
Current Mood: content
|Thursday, April 29th, 2004|
Oh man i feel like shit. Definitely got really trashed last night. Had a good time except for getting a bit sick. Least I didn't run into a wall though ; ) Nicole really hurt her foot by somehow running into the wall in her hallway.
I'm so glad classes are over. I only have a few exams left now to worry about. They shouldn't be to bad though. I should probably go try and find a job today. I think it's time to lay down though and recover some more : ) Current Mood: sick
|Sunday, April 25th, 2004|
Well the weekend went pretty well. I went to the Health Psych cookout with Nicole on Friday which was actually tons of fun. I know im out of shape though when im still sore from playing a little frisbee. It was definitely kind of funny to get drunk with some of my professors. Dr. Ludwig is quite the character but even more so after drinking. Had some good talks with him about music and stuff.
Didn't do to much yesterday or today. I have so many tests and crap to do though these next two weeks. Ahh can't wait till schools out. I just need to find a job now. I'll probably go look for one this week sometime. Time to study now : ( Current Mood: apathetic
|Wednesday, April 21st, 2004|
|Wednesday, April 14th, 2004|
Actually had a good easter break. We had had dinner with Michael and Tim on Sunday. Ahh the food was great. Lamb is soo good. It's always good to hang out with them to.
I went to a really good show at Cats Cradle on Monday. Julian, Jessica, and Damian went with me. Murder by Death opened for Rasputina. They were actually really good so I picked up their cd. Rasputina was great too. They played alot of good stuff from their new cd. ahh so many hot goth outfits there too. mmmm corsets.
I'm so ready for this semester to be over. I dont even have that much work. I'm just so sick of classes and stuff. I've really missed Sky tons lately too : ( Summer will be so great once she gets here.
This week should be pretty good though. Kill Bill 2 comes out friday!!! ahhhh very very excited. It looks like it might not even be coming to boone though. Its a good thing I'm going home with Nicole this weekend so we can see it then. I've fought off angels with my hands behind my back
I've set the heavens all on fire
so sleep in the fallout shelter tonight one and all
and wrap the children up real tight
and stop the bleedin before it starts
stop the bleedin before it starts...
|Saturday, March 13th, 2004|
|Spring Break : )
Well break went pretty well. It so nice not to have class and just relax and read. I went and saw the Passion of Christ with Michael, which was interesting. As a film it was well made but I still think that the film and Christianity is spreading a very distorted message.
Thursday night Nick and Amanda took me out to dinner at Maggiano's which was really good and very nice of them. Thanks guys : ) They had the biggest portions I had ever seen. Still working on the leftovers.
Friday was my birthday. Finally 21 : ) My parents took me out to dinner then Julian, Jessica, Nick, Amanda, D, Michael, and Timothy came over for a while. It was really nice to hang out with everyone and talk about different things. I miss Sky alot though. I was at dinner when she called so we didn't get to talk : ( ahh I love her so much.
I also finished reading The Davinci Code yesterday. It was a really good book. Even though it was a novel I hope it will encourage people to take a more critical view of the Church and make people want to look into the various secret societies that have existed throughout history.
It'll be nice to get back to school too though. I ordered a new videocard for my birthday which should arrive there soon. 256 mb Radeon 9600XT : ) I can't wait to play some new games with it. I've also missed Nicole and and everyone else up there so it'll be good to see them.
Time to eat some good homecooked food and watch some movies. Powers of Thagerion
Watch the great beast to be
For to Mega Therion
The dragonian melody
The dragon open the eye
And reveal both true and lie
Current Mood: content
|Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004|
Well it looks like my computer is completely dead : ( It won't even boot into safe mode which means I probably lost all my music...ugh so pissed off right now. I'm hoping I can get some of the files off but somehow I doubt it. On a good note it looks like me and Andrew got an apartment next to Nicole : ) Very happy about that seeing as I didn't think they were gonna have any available. Time to start studying for a test I have in 40 min though.. Current Mood: crappy
|Saturday, February 28th, 2004|
ahhh I can't get myself to start studying. I have two tests, a paper, and a quiz on Monday so I should really stop being so lazy. Spring break needs to hurry up and get here!
I went to see 21 Grams with Nicole last night. It was a really good movie. The acting was awesome and the story made you think about some very existential issues.
Everyone should download and play this game Kobo. It's soo insane and crazy. I swear one could gain enlightenment paying this game. Very addicting too : )
I miss Sky so much lately. Were both pretty busy so we dont have much time to talk : (
I think about her constantly though. This summer is going to be so great. Now if I could just find an apartment. Hopefully me and andrew will get one of the places where Nicole's living. It would be really nice if we did. Time to study now though...blah Current Mood: lazy
|Tuesday, February 24th, 2004|
Just posting some things about nihilism that I posted in a locked livejournal a little while back. I added some new thoughts though. I've actually read a lot more about nihilism and will probably rethink some of these thoughts and change them or elaborate on them in later posts.
I'm mostly talking about existential nihilism rather then other concepts of nihilism such as ethical or political. In other words life has no intrinsic meaning or value. I think this is the concept of nihilism that Nietzsche talked about.
Nietzsche believed that inevitably, nihilism will expose all cherished beliefs and truths as symptoms of a defective Western mythos. He believed that this collapse of meaning, relevance, and purpose will be the most destructive force in history, and would be nothing less than the greatest crisis of humanity.
Many of the more recent existentialist's such as Jean Pual Sarte formed their philosophies around this problem that existence is completely absurd and meaningless. When we abandon our illusions, life is revealed as nothing. For the existentialists though, nothingness is the source of not only absolute freedom but also existential horror and emotional anguish. Nothingness reveals each individual as an isolated being "thrown" into an alien and unresponsive universe, barred forever
from knowing why yet required to invent meaning.
Other philosophers such as Camus described at length how metaphysical collapse often ends in total negation and the victory of nihilism, characterized by profound hatred, pathological destruction, and incalculable violence and death.
I think that nihilism is a step that one may have to go through to become the Uber-mensch that Nietzsche talked about. I think most people live in a state of self deception. Sartre called this living in bad faith. I think most people do this to deal with the fact that we will die and that life is filled with suffering. The self-deceiver creates non-life affirming values. This can be seen in the ascetic values that Christianity follows. The nihilist on the other hand understands that there is no intrinsic meaning and does not look for values outside of the earth. The uber-mensch I believe is someone who transcends nihilism and creates their own life-affirming values.
Here's an interesting quote from Nietzsche "I praise, I do not
reproach, [nihilism's] arrival. I believe it is one of the greatest
crises, a moment of the deepest self-reflection of humanity. Whether
man recovers from it, whether he becomes master of this crisis, is a
question of his strength. It is possible. . . . Complete Works Vol. 13"
Here's some more qoutes from Nietzsche's Thus Spake Zarathustra to support my ideas about the Ubermensche."Lo, I teach you the Superman!
The Superman is the meaning of the earth.
Let your will say: The Superman shall he the meaning of the earth! I
conjure you, my brethren, remain true to the earth, and believe not
those who speak unto you of superearthly hopes! Poisoners are they,
whether they know it or not."
"I love those who do not first seek a reason beyond the stars for going
down and being sacrifices, but sacrifice themselves to the earth, that
the earth of the Superman may hereafter arrive."
"Behold the believers of all beliefs! Whom do they hate most? Him who
breaketh up their tables of values, the breaker, the law-breaker: he,
however, is the creator.'
I find it interesting that in this quote Nietzche seem to hint at a universal self behind all egos and that he says that the ego decieves most people. I think this idea is really not all that beyond science. Advances in quantum physics might start to support this theory or idea one day."Ego," sayest thou, and art proud of that word. But the greater thing
in which thou art unwilling to believe is thy body with its big
sagacity; it saith not "ego," but doeth it.
What the sense feeleth, what the spirit discerneth, hath never its end
in itself. But sense and spirit would fain persuade thee that they are
the end of all things: so vain are they.
Instruments and playthings are sense and spirit: behind them there is
still the Self. The Self seeketh with the eyes of the senses, it
hearkeneth also with the ears of the spirit.
Ever hearkeneth the Self, and seeketh; it compareth, mastereth,
conquereth, and destroyeth. It ruleth, and is also the ego's ruler.
Behind thy thoughts and feelings, my brother, there is a mighty lord,
an unknown sage it is called Self; it dwelleth in thy body, it is thy
Current Mood: sick
|Thursday, February 19th, 2004|
|Trip to Europe
Well I haven’t written in here in forever. Just haven’t felt like writing I guess. The trip to Europe to see Sky was so awesome though. It was so great to see her. Things went better between us then I ever even expected. I met her in Madrid and we stayed there a few days before going to Paris. It was definitely pretty crazy being in a place where I didn’t understand anything anyone said. Spain was really neat though. The people seem like a bunch of goofy partiers though. We went to a really good restaurant the first night and went to the Royal palace the next day. They had an awesome armory there…ahhh must get a sword. I think I’ll post a list of all the places we went though at the end the entry instead of writing about every place we went.
Paris was a really beautiful city. Walking along the River Seine at night with Sky was so great. The French were a bunch of bastards like everyone said they were though. Very annoying. We were there for Christmas so we went to the cathedral of Notre Dame, which was nice. We also went and saw Kill Bill. Ah such a great movie. I was really happy Sky enjoyed it so much. I wish they CD stores here like they did in Paris. They had an entire separate section for black metal in most of them \,,/ We also went to the Palace of Versailles outside of Paris which was quite impressive and incredibly extravagant.
London was a really cool place. The people were much nicer! Finally a place where I understood what people were saying. I wasn’t feeling to good for a few of the days which sucked. Sky took really good care of me though : ) It was soo cold there. We went and saw the Return of the King in this huge theater which was cool. London was really expensive though so we couldn’t do to much. Had to resort to stealing some wine from Pizza Hut on New Years. Very funny situation since Sky then accidentally left her purse in there and I had to go back for it and they had just closed : /
We ended up flying from London to Rome because of some problems in our travel plans. Such an awesome flight though. We flew over the tops of snow-capped mountains that were sticking through the clouds. Rome was quite impressive. It had a very pompous and majestic feel to it, which I suppose is very appropriate for Rome. The Collesuem and Pantheon were really impressive too. The people there were also overly nice. It was so nice to just wander around the city with Sky and buy some wine and yummy cheese and just sit on some steps somewhere and talk and eat. I can’t believe how perfect it seems we are for each other sometimes. We went to Vatican City also, which was a cool trip. Got to see the Sistine Chapel : )
We took a train to Palermo, Sicily next. Palermo was very different from most of the places we had been. It was on the ocean and there were lots of palm trees and it had a very gritty look to it. I’m not surprised they filmed one of the Godfather films there. The last day there we went to Catacombs which was sooooo cool. There were hundreds of dead bodies staked to the walls of the passages that you could walk done. Some of them still had hair and skin stretched across their skeletons. There were funny little dead fetuses and babies too. Sky definitely was not enjoying it though.
Leaving Italy was such a mess. I wont go into details but Sky ended up losing around $600 on plane tickets. It was so hard to leave Sky on the last day in Spain. I’ve missed her so much. She’s hopefully going to live here this summer with me though. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t wait. Anyways here’s a list of some of the places we went. I want to get some of the pictures we took scanned too. We ended up with 6 or 7 rolls of film.
I think I’ll start writing in here more though. It’s laundry time now though.
Dec 19th-21: Madrid : )
Royal Palace, Reina Sophia Museum, Prado Museum, Plaza Mayor
Dec 22nd-26: Paris.
Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, The Louvre Museum, Arc de Triumph, Opera
Dec 27th-31: London.
Buckingham Palace, The Monument, St. James Park, Tower Bridge,
Big Ben, The Big Eye, Tate Modern Museum, Picadilly Circus, Leicester
Jan 1st-4: Rome.
Colleseum, Pantheon, Vatican City, St. Peter s Cathedral, Trevi
Fountain, Spagna Plaza, Palantine Hill + The Forum, Catedrale Maggiore
Jan 5th-7: Palermo, Sicily.
Catacombs, Catedrale, Massimo Theatre, Politeamo Theatre (Guys and
Dolls!), Port with mountains, ocean.
Jan 8th: Rome.
Jan 9th: Madrid + Home :( Current Mood: tired
|Monday, October 20th, 2003|
You are Form 9, Vampire
: The Undying."And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
|Tuesday, October 14th, 2003|
Went to see Kill Bill today. Ah what a fantastic movie. It was kinda like a combination of spaghetti westerns and kung fu movies with a reference to everything else thrown in. The music was really good to. Quentin Tarantino's such an awesome director. There was even a flashback sequence done really well all in anime! The movie was also nice and bloody in an over the top kinda way : ) Quentin's obviously seen Battle Royal. Now that I think about I'm pretty sure one of the school girls from Battle Royal was in Kill Bill. Anyways everyone should go see the movie. I can't wait for Vol II. Through the pain, the reason to live
No mercy given to the chosen sacrifice
No love given as the beast (asleep) rises
Die at my slaughtergarden, Say good-bye to your filthy life
Die at my slaughtergarden, God is denied when my victim dies
Current Mood: blank
|Wednesday, October 1st, 2003|
Today's been an interesting day for weird stuff. I watched House of a 1000 Corpses with Nicole. Ah what a deleightful movie. It didn't have the best storyline or anything but the style was great and I found myself quite entertained the entire time. Gotta love Dr. Satan : )
It wasn't nearly as weird though as this Japanese movie, Naked Blood, I rented over the weekend. It had some girl cutting off and eating her own genetalia and stabbing her eyeball out with a fork and eating it. Fun stuff...
I got a wonderful cd to compliment all the movies I've seen lately. Its a Japanese band called Sigh that could be best described as psychedelic black metal. I got their cd Imaginary Sonicscapes. It's an amazing cd. It incorporates so many different genres of music very seemlessly to create a very surreal and disturbing experience. The vocals range from typical black metal vocals to opera and sampled voices. I'll just post some interesting quotes from reviews of the cd here. "You could even call SIGH, "Pink Floyd on crack".
What can i say? This is the greatest CD by one of the craziest metal bands ever. Reggae, opera, lounge, jazz, classical, analog synthesizers, and psychedelic rock all having an orgy sex on a bed of black metal.
Their music generates words like psychotic, deranged, twisted, psychadelic, insane and any other word in relation to the imbalance of the brain. After one full listen the struggle within will have you trying to gather your thoughts and emotions. Then on the second listen you will ask yourself if such music is humanly possible?
"try to picture Bands like Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Rainbow, Jimmy Hendrix Abba, Johnny Coltrane and Pink Floyd together in one recording studio smoking a shitload of crack would be an interesting way to sum up Sigh’s music in Imaginary Soundscape"
ahhh I love it!!!!Please open my eye, the third eye
Please open my eye, I shan't deny
I am blind but I know the truth is here
I am deaf but I know Revelation coming near
Waves of eternity in my heartbeat
Collapsed by beauty, collapsed into fury
Predicted destiny beyond my sanity
I will never find the reason to be....
-Dreamsphere (Return to the Chaos)
Current Mood: weird
|Friday, September 19th, 2003|
Actually feeling somewhat happy now for a change. I think I'm just relieved to get this day over with. I had a quiz and two tests which was a bit stressful. I think though that I did alright on them. I really like most of my classes so far this semester, which helps alot. Two of my psych teachers are fuckn hilarious, which makes class go by faster, and I've met some really cool people in some classes.
We were supposed to have a kegger tomorrow but it seems half the people in the house dont want to. I guess everyone's kinda short on money but its still kinda lame. Prolly still have some people over to drink though. It's Justin's 21st birthday. I'll have to beat the shit out of him : )
Gonna see Underworld saturday. Can't fucking wait. What could be better then vampires versus werewolves? Current Mood: content